trichechidae:

One sunny afternoon, Sufjan Stevens was going for a stroll through the woods. He walked along, whistling part of a symphonic exploration of the Mariana Trench that he had just made up five minutes ago, when suddenly he heard a buzzing of wings above him. “Oh, no!” he cried, “it’s the Predatory Wasp!” He started to run, and just then— he stopped.

Sufjan Stevens suddenly realized how hot that wasp was with his thin waist and delicate facial features. He mustered his courage and told the wasp what he had been thinking and the wasp said that he had been thinking the same thing about Sufjan Stevens. So … they retired to a semi-secluded bush where they humped like fruit flies for hours. Sufjan Stevens enjoyed the feel of the wasp’s smooth exo-skeleton and the threat of being stung to death was a real and unexpected turn-on.

At the end, the wasp turned to Sufjan Stevens and said, “I have a confession to make — I am not just a wasp, I am a mud dauber. I’m kind of a big deal.”

Sufjan Stevens/Wasp

What.